


I’m Fallin’ Again

by Suspicious_Fishious



Category: Escape the Night (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Dialogue Heavy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Heaven because fuck canon, Post-Canon, feels go brrrbrrbbrrbrbrrrrrreeeerrreee, genuine tana IS SO HARD TO WRITE OH MY LORD, it’s bad ik ik, it’s probably ooc but fuck it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26925433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suspicious_Fishious/pseuds/Suspicious_Fishious
Summary: Heaven’s a pretty nice place, though everything and everyone’s still cracked and fragile as ever. Not everyone dies peacefully or justified, whether they go up to the skies or down under. Take the All Stars, for example, riddled with even more betrayal and pain than before, dealing with the bonds that were further broken, their trust and hope lost. Tana, on the other hand, has had about enough of the moping. If a bitch wants her emotional bullshit fixed, guess she has to do it herself.
Relationships: The Aviator | Alex Wassabi/The Pin-Up Girl | Tana Mongeau
Comments: 9
Kudos: 10





	1. what am I now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tana’s dealing with ye ol “why the fuck cant everyone get over themselves my GOD” disorder and actually loses it part 1

_“No, no no- What did I do? What did I do? What did I d-“_

_“I don’t know what to do! I don’t know what to do!”_

The bloody scenes replay in her head again. _Jesus Christ, my weave’s gonna combust from stress._ Tana sighs, sitting up from her cloud. She brushes a few locks of faded blonde hair from her face, looking around the blinding abyss of the afterlife. The same endless blue sky, clouds floating everywhere, even in the form of buildings. _Ugh, am I hung over again or what. Shit like weed or whatever probably doesn’t even exist here. Damn angels._

Tana hops down from the cloud, letting it drift away. She begins to wander again, looking left and right for any of her friends. She spots Justine and Ro, chatting quietly. The Pin-Up Girl gives an awkward wave to them, not in the mood to bitch at them. Amongst the path she spots Destorm, and she murmurs a small “hi” to him, getting a solemn nod in response. 

By the time she passes by Tim, Tana notices a trend. Everyone’s just been... _miserable._ The All Stars had been in Heaven for a day or two at most, and everyone seemed to be in low spirits, and more hollow, though she hadn’t thought much of it at first. _Y’all bitches fucking depressed, this sucks. Thisis the LITERAL worst. Ugh, can something good happen?_ She keeps her head low, lost in thought, until she bumps into a woman, dressed in a rose gold gown.

“Oh fu-Hey Gabbs,” Tana backs up, eyes meeting with the Hollywood Star’s. They exchange a quick hug, before Gabbie reponds.

“Hi Tana,” She replies, a hint of apathy in her voice. 

“Bitch, Heaven _sucks._ ” 

“It’s _Heaven_? How does this suck, we’re all fine here. It’s cloudy and pretty here, or whatever. It’s nice, I guess.” 

“Do I need to point this shit out?! Omigod, why do _I_ have to be the smart bitch here? Gabbs, we’re not fine, we’re all a bunch of wretched, quiet hoes.” 

“Jesus-okay. That’s...that’s fair-we aren’t _wretched_ though. What, are we supposed to be happy that we lost our _one_ chance to get home again? Tana, nobody’s _happy_ about being here.” Gabbie sighs, dropping the stories. 

“Shit, girl. That’s not what I’m saying- It’s not just that. Listen. The whole squad’s fucked up ‘n different.”

“We’re all just...processing right now, okay? We died _again_ , we all lost a lot with arriving here. Tana, the paper said, 'A final death from which there’s no return.’ I mean, I’m glad it’s not Hell, but I’m not happy. _Nobody’s happy to be here._ But we _are_ okay. We are FINE. That’s the final straw-“ _No. No. Stop. That’s it._

“Girl, shut the fuck up! Processing or not, we can’t just mope around like this! Shouldn’t we be trying to get over ourselves and move ON? Try to work things out, deal with all our gross emotional shit? At least make the most of this? We have all the time in the world, the more we hold onto this the more it’s gonna hurt, dumbass. Ugh, seriously, stop making me be the smartest one here. I don’t like doing that. God, I need to go do something actually worth my time. ‘Else my weave’s gonna explode or some shit,” Tana groans.

“I-wait. Tana-“ Gabbie extends a hand to her, then pulls it back. Her face falls a bit in remorse. Tana doesn’t care at this rate. 

“Bye.” Tana snaps coldly, before turning on her heels and walking away, leaving Gabbie speechless. 

_If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna solve my fucking problems on my own. Y’all can be crybabies without me. Damn, call me Therapist Tana. Now, what first._ Repressing the guilt of snapping, Tana looks to the distance again, spotting a cloud floating low, a person laying on it. _You. Oh, speak of the devil._

“Hey, Alex.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FISH WROTE SHIT? FISH WROTE SHIT!! HI TANEX HAS BARELY ANY LOVE SO IM HERE. ITS MY COMFORT SHIP OK-
> 
> side note, sorry i haven’t updated the monsters among us. it’s a combo of a lack of motivation and uh. i forgot how much the twin doll episode scares me. 
> 
> hope y’all enjoy(ed) this fucking mess!


	2. what if I'm someone you won't talk about?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tana just went through a girl fight, let’s put her through even more! also, so much fucking dialogue i’m sorry-

Tana immediately winces. _You sound sleep deprived, my god._ Alex sits up, jumping off his cloud to greet the girl. 

“Hey!” He grins at her, a cheery tone to his voice, though even he sounds worn out. She blushes again. That smile. That _damned dopey_ smile. The one that got her all the way back in the Victorian Era. _Oh my god, stop. We’re not hooking up in the afterlife. I wasted my chances, anyways._

“Do you-“ Her diva persona fades again, and she sighs. _Drop it for a second, you’re being faker than 90% of twitter right now.You have things to clear up with him, don’t chicken out, motherfucker._ “Can you talk?” 

Alex pretends to check a watch, before looking back up at her. “I’d say I pretty much have an eternity now, so yeah, I can talk,” He chuckles.

“Hah, c-cool.” _Okay, now you sound like a 6th grader in a school dance. Go back to slut mode, fucking please. Why is being in front of Alex shutting down all of my fucking brain? Because-Oh. Right._

Alex furrows his brow for a moment, thinking. “Hold on.” He grabs the cloud again, vaulting back onto it. He pats a spot next to him, offering a hand. She smiles a bit, taking it. Tana blushes. Yet again The Aviator managed to make her soft. She sits down, looking out at the world below. He breaks her restless thoughts, asking, “So what’s up?”

_He’s here, you’re gonna do it. You deserve the fucking closure to not deal with this shit. It’s time, bitch._ “Everyone’s fucking silent and hopeless right now...I...I mean hell, I have some baggage too right now…but like. We need to fucking get over it. It’s our afterlife, we shouldn’t spend it mooing around. We should be taking advantage of the luxury of Heaven, or whatever. I dunno. I’ve dealt with enough Youtube bullshit to know ignoring baggage isn’t gonna do shit. I wanna get over it.”

Alex’s casual smile fades. “I-yeah, I think you’re right. Maybe...why don’t I help you out then?”

“Funny you say that, dumbass. I was actually looking for you. I-there’s a few things between u-“ She can’t bring herself to say “ _us”._ She lets out a shaky sigh, “-Between you and I. A lot of things happened back in that shitty museum, you know?”

“Oh-oh,” he nods, “I guess so. A lot of challenges went down, we watched each other die.”

“It’s not just that. Emotional shit went down for me, surprise surprise.” Tana stares down, the memories flooding back. _How do I start this?_ “Do you remember our alliance from the Victorian Mansion? Before I died you, Tyler and I made one, and I-“ Alex interrupts, covering his mouth with a gasp.

“I-I forgot a-about it.” He turns to her, voice riddled with grief, “Tana-I-I’m so sorry. I-we barely even talked-I’m so sorry.” A bitter laugh escapes her, a miserable smile etched on her face. 

“I wanna say it’s fucking fine. It isn’t, really. That’s the funny part. _Of course_ it hurt me more than it should’ve,” Tana meets his eyes, summoning all of her bitchy confidence. “You...you _hurt_ me, Alex. It sounds like some pussy’s sob story, but i-it’s true. That hurt. You forgetting the alliance we made. I tried to forget about it too, tried to brush it off, at least once I realized you didn’t say anything about it or talk to me at all. You wanna know why, hoe?” Alex winces, overwhelmingly sorry. He nods again, unable to speak. _Now you see how I feel, huh._

Tana thinks back to the night she first died. Warmth floods her head at the happy memories, though it’s quickly replaced by sorrow of the bad. “I kept trying not to tell myself you didn’t care. I remembered the Victorian Era. I kept saying to myself, ‘He cared for all of us. Alex would never.’ Eventually I really started to think you didn’t care. B-Before the Black Knight fucking stabbed me, I heard you yell my name. I felt a bit of hope again. Because I loved you.” She pushes back her tears, her voice lowering, “Because I _love_ you. And I know I couldn’t say it. Ever. You were getting over Lauren, then the museum...well that’s self explanatory. And it’s weird, it started back in that one army challenge or whatever. Which doesn’t even feel like it was really that long ago.” 

Alex stares at her, dumbfounded. He opens his mouth, only to close it again. He turns away for a moment, and Tana goes silent. 

“I-I tried not to think about romance during the whole Victorian night, to be honest. I felt horrible, everyone was calling you useless- and they killed you for that. I wanted to defend you, I got blinded by everything else that was going on, with my girlfriend, with escaping. I didn’t wanna think about drama...but then things happened!” 

Tana sees his eyes watering, feeling her own tears finally rolling down her cheeks. She looks back to the sky in front of her again. The Aviator does as well, before speaking up again. “I wish you would’ve said something- no, I should’ve remembered...man, I don’t know. You know, I think...I think I actually did catch a few feelings for you too. I-aha, I love you too.” He chuckles, letting his own tears fall. “You were different-not to say you were bad before or anything. Just...stronger, I guess? Even more confident, after you beat Justine. You were really smart and helpful to the group, you proved yourself. And I didn’t really have the courage to say it? And-I mean Colleen’s alright, though I do think she hates me, but some selfish part of me did hope you were gonna be revived. I cared-I care about you too, and just...back during the Victorian night, I was being stupid in not defending you. Tana, I can't say it enough, I’m sorry.”

“T...thanks. Speaking of the Victorian Era, that reminds me. The whole other part of it.” She lets out a tired groan, then continues, “That alliance was really special to me, y’know? Everyone that night basically shit on me and treated me like I was useless, and the alliance gave me a bit of hope, I guess. Some delusional side of me thought I was fucking safe. That you guys actually cared about me. Thought of me as a worthy person to ally with. I felt like I actually had real fucking friends, for a bit. God, it’s super sappy, I know. But it’s annoyingly true. That’s one of the only good parts I remember from that night. That and the lollipop. That damn thing was delicious,” Tana pauses, laughing at the thought of the treat, “And I don’t wanna shame you-but like...when we got out of those glass cases, I thought I could have that back. But my scared ass couldn’t say anything. Plus, I got caught up in the whole ‘chance at coming back to life’ shit. And...and then I just assumed you forgot and decided to focus on puzzles and the damn keys instead. I blamed it on you. Then, when I finally tried to think about it again and try to summon some shred of courage to bring it up, I _died._ ” Tana fiddles with a strand of hair, taking a deep breath. _Holy fuck, that felt good._

“Woah-I didn’t know it was like that, I didn’t know it meant that much. I’m sorry Tana. I...it was nice, yeah. Having people you know won’t send you to die-er-people you could trust. It was nice to have a few friends who I could rely on. I can agree. What happened that first night...it shouldn’t have gone that way. They betrayed you, gosh, it really was horrible. You shouldn’t have had to deal with that whole thing.” She nods in response, exhaling lightly. 

The silence lasts for a moment, Alex softly speaking up after a bit, “You feel better? Or is there anything else on your mind?” He looks at her, and she can’t help but feel a sense of relief. _He cares._

“Oh, hon, I feel _way_ better. Ugh, this turned into a horrible vent session. Both of us are crying like pathetic goddamn losers,” She grumbles, her usual bitchiness returning. Tana rests against the boy’s arm, letting herself relax a bit. He smiles again, laughing a bit. The girl laughs along too. Alex mimics an offended scoff. 

“Hey, being a loser isn’t _that_ bad. It has its perks!” Alex’s normal smile returns, and he laughs again. Tana’s cheeks go red for the fifth time, and she sighs peacefully. The girl lets out a yawn, nuzzling into him. Alex rests his head on hers.

“Jesus Christ, am I beyond exhausted.” Her eyes start to close.

“I don’t blame you. That was a _lot_ of baggage, huh. How ‘bout we do me next?” 

“Oh lord, maybe in a few hours. I’m triple dead.” 

“I know, I’m kidding. Let’s…let’s just stay like this a bit longer.”

“Agreed.”

Bright white and pale blue clouds float by, the occasional angel fluttering through the sky, the pair watching them for what feels like hours. She feels herself slowly drifting to sleep, and sees him already peacefully dozing. For the first time, eternity doesn’t seem so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah this was supposed to be a short oneshot  
> but guess who got emotionally invested hAH
> 
> also f for tyler ngl
> 
> i hope you guys enjoyed it tho! i’ve been in a writing mood for some time anyways, gimme some focking ideas in the comments for some inspiration ig


End file.
